Beautiful Imperfections

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I may not have exotic eyes lined with kohl, mesmerising you with some Persian promise.
I may not be a perfect size ten , with skinny thighs and humble breasts.
I may not have sleek black hair, with the scent of coconut oil.
I may not move with the grace of a swan or twirl like a gentle breeze.
I may not bow to your every command or soften my voice so as not to be heard.
I may not be all the things you think he needs.
I may not be your idea of beautiful, but he sees more beauty in me than I’ve ever seen in myself. 

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows…

My sister and I have a very deep bond and we’re both sucker’s for sappy, heartfelt sorta stuff. 

I’ve already told you all about my relationship with my sister in my post Sister, sister, so I won’t go into all the sap again. This poem is one that we both hold very dearly to our hearts and always reminds me that no matter how far apart we are, I am never without her, nor she without me, for I carry her in my heart. 
Source: Google Images
 i carry your heart e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; 
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud 
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life, which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart 

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Mommy, where do babies come from?

After having a conversation with my sister over the weekend I was reminded yet again of the amazing things that come out of kids mouths. My 5 year old nephew is a prime example and constantly challenges my thinking with his blunt questions and his simple view of the world. I wonder sometimes when life became so complicated and when I stopped being a kid.

You see my little nephew is quite a little firecracker with loads of energy, just looking at him tires me out. He’s such a free spirit, constantly jumping off things, rolling over things, tumbling onto things, running into things and throwing things over. He’s also quite a smarty pants and constantly questions my logic.

I recall many interesting conversations while driving him to and from his swimming lessons on a Wednesday afternoon and they would normally go a little something like this:

Him: Do you know where you going?
Me: Yes, I know where I’m going.
Him: But how do you know, if you’ve never been there before?
Me: Because I looked it up on the map.
Him: Are you sure you know though?
Me:  I think so, yes.
Him: I think you’re lost!
(You got me)

He questions everything and I love him for it, although it sometimes drives me insane and makes me blush with awkwardness. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s one of the reasons I cling to the childish bits that still remain in me. He reminds me that there is a certain innocence in youth, an innocence that allows for wonder and bewilderment. An innocence which doesn’t discriminate against stupid or obvious questions; which encourages you to jump, skip, hop and dive into the unknown, always knowing that there’ll be someone there to catch you or put a plaster on it if you should fall.

Source: Google Images

Right on time!

Tropicana’s major sun installation in Trafalgar Square yesterday.

 
Sometimes I wonder where I would be right now if I had made different decisions in my life. If maybe I had stayed on in that great corporate job earning a good salary, I’d be settled in a nice comfortable lifestyle. Maybe I’d have been better off if I had not gone back home to finish my degree or if I’d lived somewhere else in the world…etc…etc…etc.

For the past month or so I’ve been having a lot of ‘what if moments’. Unemployed, in a different city, with only my savings to live off, I was starting to feel a little more than out of my depth and the gloomy weather wasn’t particularly helping the situation.

But in the space of a week, that all turned around. A short visit from my family gave me the pick-me-up I needed. Two job interviews later, I landed myself a job in communications, my three-week old cold finally packed up and left and the sun decided to come out in Trafalgar Square. In short, I got my mojo back.

Things don’t always happen just the way you want them to or when you want, but when they do, it’s always right on time! 🙂

People

They say the people you love the most are also the ones who have the ability to hurt you the most. I’ve experienced this first hand and I must say its like a dagger straight to the heart. But the most amazing thing is that it doesn’t kill you, as cliché as it sounds, it does only make you stronger. 
The hurt and resentment may linger for a while, but it soon fades if you’re willing to let go of it. The longer you hold onto it though, the more it eats away at the core of you and in some cases it may eventually destroy you. 
I’ve learnt a few things about people in my lifetime. I’ve learnt that no other living creature can produce as much affection as another person and that almost no other living creature can hurt you more. I’ve learnt that people can be fickle, but that they are also caring. 
I’ve learnt that people are cruel, that they make mistakes, that they sometimes have bad judgement, that they can say hurtful things without a second thought, that they like to gossip; but most importantly, I’ve learnt that people need forgiveness. 
So let bygones be bygones. Because as George Michael said: ”People….You can never change the way they feel. Better let them do just what they will. For they will. If you let them steal your heart from you.” You can’t change ‘them’ but you can change how you react 😉
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Mothers & Daughters

I’ve never had a daughter before, but I have loads of experience on being a daughter. My sister and I being the only daughters amongst our brood of five have been fortunate to be raised by a modern day Wonder Woman. My Mum has loved us, nurtured us, cut us down to size, spoilt us and raised us to be the courageous women we are today. I’m not sure how she managed to pay such special attention to each and every one of us, with five kids running around, but I can only hope that if I should have a daughter one day, I’ll be able to measure up to the kind of parent my Mum is.

I’m a huge fan of spoken word and this little rendition by Sarah Kay called “B”, is one of my favourite pieces. It gets me choked up every time and compels me to aspire to be a great mother one day.

“This world is made of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.”


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The art of laughter

There’s a saying that goes: ‘Of all the forms of courage the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic.’

There are few things that I find more fulfilling than a really good, hearty laugh. Hearing my 5 year old nephew’s boisterous laughter, as he squirms and squiggles through my endless tickles is one of my favourite things on this earth; and there are few things as delightful as spending time with my Best Friend and hearing the sound of our shared laughter filling the room.

There are many battles that we all face daily, but there are few things that are not easily cured by a good laugh. I often find that when I feel like life just gets to be too much, the silliest incident will have me rolling on the floor, crying my eyes out and enjoying a really good laugh; and once its all over, I miraculously feel light and rejuvenated.

Try to find something everyday that makes you laugh. Our daily lives are filled with chores, activities, schedules and meetings, so its often difficult to find the time to just take a minute to breath. But, in between brushing your teeth, remembering to take your vitamins, delivering your weekly report to your boss, picking up the kids from school, find a minute or two to have a good laugh. Because, its true what they say…’laughter really is the best medicine’ (and the cheapest)! 🙂


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The statute of limitation has expired on most of our childhood traumas

Dr. Gordon Livingston was a US author and psychiatrist, who wrote a critically acclaimed book called Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, wherein he 30 truths or life lessons (which you can read more about here ). He believed that every individual is in control of his/her destiny, despite their past of current situation. The fourth chapter in his book was called ‘The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas.’

The chapter goes on to explain that despite what has happened to us in our childhood, whether it be severe traumas of neglect, we are still in control of our destiny, and in order to move forward we must first be willing to let go of the past, in order to move into our future.

I know we’ve probably all been in one of those situations where we revert back to a childhood memory or something we learnt (directly or indirectly) from our parents or siblings. Some of these memories or traits are positive things that we carry with us from childhood, others though, such as the memory of your parents’ abusive relationship; or being molested by a family friend are best left forgotten.

Granted, its not as easy as just getting over these traumas which leave their scars on us for life. But in order to avoid repetition thereof in your future and move forward in life, you have to let go of these traumas. Its always easier to blame something or someone, but instead of blaming your current circumstances on your past, why not decide to take control of your life and steer it in the direction that you want it to go. Don’t let your past define your future!

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