1. How during a very lengthy speech, someone always says ‘if there’s one thing I want you to take away from today, its this…’ and then proceeds to tell you ten million things.
2. Motorists driving in the fast lane, when they know the top speed on their little lightning bolt is 60.
3. Cashiers who ask how may I help you and then proceed to park you off to the side while they help all the other customers, because your request is way too complicated, so you get to go last – Whoopee!
4. Mopping the kitchen floor last, because you wont need to go in there for another 20minutes while it dries and then annoyingly needing something in there 5 minutes later and messing up the wet floor.
5. Parent’s telling their kids: ‘I’m not gonna speak to you again’ after repeatedly telling their kids to behave and knowing that they’re probably going to have to say it another 20 times before they listen. Why not just tell them the truth and say: ‘I’m going to keep reprimanding you for the rest of your life’ – that’ll shut them up.
6. Annoying marketing people calling you up and enquiring how you are and then proceeding to tell you how they are without any enquiry from you. I didn’t ask, coz I wasn’t interested and no, I’m not buying whatever you’re selling!
7. Security taping your bag with yellow tape as you enter a store, to prevent you from stealing, because obviously nothing will get past that ‘hard core’ little piece of sticky yellow tape.
8. How the weather seems absolutely cold and miserable when you leave home, so you put on some layers, only to find that its a bright Summers day when you get to work and proceed to sweat your pits out for the rest of the day in your snuggly jersey.
10. Desperately dashing toward the loo while trying to prevent the biggest little waterfall from exploding in your pants, getting your pants unzipped and your bottom on the seat just in the nick of time, only to realise that there’s only one sheet of bog roll left.
Anyone else feel baffled by these things? Maybe its just me, maybe its just the way the world works or maybe I’m just a tad bit cynical. Oh well, now you know.
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