Letters to a young me…

The art of letting go

I’m letting go now, so so long, goodbye.
I can’t hold on for the pain is far too much for my fragile heart to bear.
I’ve loved you so long now, with my whole heart and  soul.
I’ve loved you more than I thought I was ever capable of loving anyone.
I’ve loved you to the point that I let go of all my preconceived notions, allowed all my walls to be broken down and given in to the sensation of free-falling into love.

I’ve given you all of me and all my love.
I’ve let you love me in return and now that we’ve had our time in the sun, I’m letting go and moving on as best I can.
My hopeless heart still loves you; my feet keep running toward you and my arms keep motioning to reach out to you.
These I can’t control. But my mind helps me with the rest.

My mind tells me that there are deadlines to meet, people to please, chores to be done, lessons to be learned and things other than love to think about.
My mind reminds my mouth that I know other words to utter, other than your name and naive ‘I love you’s’.
My mind reminds my mouth that there are messages to communicate, life lessons to teach, friends to comfort and family to appreciate.

My mind reminds my eyes that there are greater things to observe and appreciate, even in life’s simplicities.
Greater things than staring into your eyes for hours, or trailing the length of your naked body or following your movements when you think no one is watching.
My mind reminds my eyes that there is nature’s beauty to take in, that there are other faces to notice everyday, that there is empathy to express through these eyes.

And though I know that someday this longing feeling will pass and I will no longer have to remind myself of all the things I ought to do, other than loving you; for now I’ll take it day by day and go through the motions of letting go.

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