How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole? – Confessions of a Show Stopper

Remember when I told you that I wanted to fly?
Just spread my wings and fly high above this world, to discover all those places hidden from the eye and previously forbidden to try. Well, I’m flying now and the view’s not so great from above. Looking down on all of you and feeling just a little blue to be here in this vast place all by myself.

Remember when I told you that I wanted to be great? To be strong and courageous and never break. So great that no one would dare to mess with the likes of me and men would simply fall at my feet. Well, I’m pretty great now, but it’s kinda quiet once I take a bow. People just stare in awe and wonder, no one dares to speak to me for I am just a marvel to be pondered.

Remember when I told you that I wanted to be beautiful? So beautiful in fact that I would be desired by men and women alike and that the very presence of my beauty would entrance all those whose paths I crossed. Well, I’m pretty darn gorgeous now and after countless procedures with needles and knives, there’s not a flaw in sight. But now I look in the mirror and I can’t seem to find myself beneath this flawless reflection and this plastic exterior is my only protection.

Remember when I told you that I wanted a big house, a nice car and other frivolous possessions that would turn heads? Flashy cars and fancy clothes, fluffy dogs and furry coats, well I sure did like to gloat. But, they’ve all been ticked off the list and I’ve got nothing left to acquire, nothing at all left to desire.

I remember now so well, all the things I told you. Now that I exist in this solitude amidst all the human traffic which constantly surrounds me. In this world where my possessions don’t seem to fill the void inside of me and where beauty seems ever fleeting. I remember so well all those things I told you and I weep, I ache, for I wish I remembered all the things you had said in response.

But I refused to listen, except to my own voice, which seemed the most important at the time. Planning out my brilliant future with so much detail and passion, and I imagine that you said all the most important things, when I wasn’t listening.

Remember when I told you that some daft fool had said: ‘It’s lonely at the top!’ and I said that that fool had probably only ever been on top of a dumpster? I bet you remember that and I bet you probably told me that that daft fool was right.

Picture source: http://s305.photobucket.com/albums/nn225/xxBreeannaxx/?action=view&current=LonelyGirl.jpg&sort=ascending

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